Two relationships that love is mostly needed is in friendship and marriage. Good friends aren't made in a day, they're brewed with time which determines their credibility and genuineness.
Successful marriages also does not start in a day, aside many factors, time will test their love and the strength of their character.
Do you think love is a feeling? Do you think it's just an emotional excitement you have at the thought of whom you love? Feelings don't last and can never stand the test of time. You can feel good today and get moody tomorrow but a wise choice made about love which is adhered to come rain or shine is the true definition of love.
One thing you should never joke with in your understanding of love is that time proves love. Yes, it does! Time proves the quality of your love and the foundation on which it is built on. If anyone comes to tell you, "I love you", just smile and consider the viability of the statement in a couple of months.
Many made the mistake of falling in love too soon without having proved the profession of love. Anyone can profess love but not everyone can remain committed to that statement several years later.
Time proves love in the face of adversity. You can easily say that you love God when your prayers are answered but when He doesn't answer your long awaited request, will you still love Him?
The same thing happens in friendship and in relationships leading to marriage. Take your time to build love rather than rush into acceptance so soon. Time is needed to know each other's likes and dislikes, strength and weakness, philosophies and belief system.
Do you know the mistakes many of you make in your relationship? You jump too quick in putting your heart into a relationship on the premise of love. You allow the likes of kissing, petting, caressing each other's sexual organs, erotic conversations, exchange of gifts, false care, attention or premarital sex to define your basis of love. These are lust and wrong basis for love!
It takes time to love. The time it would take you to fall in love with your friend or spouse is a function of their readiness to be naked and unashamed before you and the sincerity of their words.
You can talk for years and know nothing about him or her and you can effectively communicate within six months and know much. Willingness to open up between each other is a crucial factor that determines the time taken to fall in love; not the romantic display of affection, sweet talks, exchange of gifts or the joy of being in a relationship.
Do you now see that those who promote love at first sight theory are only out there to scam you and put your life in a mess?
Sex doesn't prove love, it is only a means of becoming intimate with the one you love which is only permissible in marriage. If sex equates love, prostitutes should feel loved more than anyone.
Love is a decision. Love is commitment. And it takes conviction to prove your partner worthiness to be love. All of these requires time. You don't decide to fall in love suddenly or in a day, you need time to prove it. Commitment is not verified just once, it takes time to show that your friend or spouse to be is committed to your well being, not just pretense.
Until you have understood all these mysteries about love and time, you'll abuse any love relationship you find yourself in. And just before you scream "I love you", know that time is a major essence that determines love.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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