Sisters, Help Brothers o!

It is commonly said that behind every successful man, there is a woman. And the kind of woman who stood behind this successful men are either their mothers or wives. However, a man doesn't become successful in marriage, he has started the journey prior to it.

Dear sisters, what are you bringing into marriage? 

I have heard sisters who say they do not want to marry "Too spiritual" brothers and honestly, I don't know what kind of man they want. Maybe I should help you out, it's better to marry a spiritual brother than to marry a carnally driven man because to be carnally minded is death (destruction) and to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 

You can't marry a man who is in between the two options. It's either he's hot or cold and it's a tragedy to be lukewarm. I can go ahead to tell you the implications of being lukewarm or cold in marriage. 

It's even better to marry a spiritual and romantic brother than to marry a religious brother. It is those kind of men that would control you according to the tenets of their religion. So if you want to marry a not-too-spiritual or not-too-worldly brother, you're on your own and you're leaving in fool's paradise. There's nothing as 'Too Spiritual' brothers, you can only have too religious brothers or carnal brothers.

Now to where I started from before I become distracted with my ranting, sisters, no great brothers in the making would desire to marry a 'fire extinguishing wife'. You know what I mean? A sister that cannot pray or becomes cold on spiritual matters. 

A man doesn't become successful on spiritual matters alone. Great brothers in the making do not want sisters who do not know anything about their business, career or purpose in life. 

How can you be looking forward to becoming a wife that you can conveniently spend an average of thirty minutes or more applying make up but when it comes to engaging in meaningful and creative discussion, you'll become an ignoramus? If you don't build your capacity to become mentally sound (intelligent), you'll only marry your kind. 

Marriage becomes interesting when you marry someone you can both flow together on the same level - spiritually, mentally, career wise or on the pursuit of purpose without lagging behind. 

It is good to know how to dress well, knowing the trendy fashion styles in vogue as lady isn't bad but what is the condition of your spirit man? What God recognizes in you as a woman is in having a countenance of a meek and quiet spirit, not in the expensive adornment you put on.

Now, how about your kitchen ministry? A sister that doesn't know how to cook or prepare good meals, 'is that one a wife?' The way to a man's heart is through good food, not a good junk. He may eat out today but he will never do that forever. 

Use this single life of yours to learn and don't be pressing phones in the living room when mom or the house maid is cooking. Linda Ikeji has made her name and stop spending futile time on gossip blogs, Instagram or on chatting. Make your own name too! More so, playing Candy Crush when you should be in the kitchen doesn't speak well of you. You're a shame to womanhood if you don't know how to cook good food. Your anointing may attract men to you but it's your good meals they would eat. Real men don't eat beauty or sex alone, they eat and know good food.

And are you washing clothes for a man, taking care of his house while thinking these would make you a wife material? It only shows how cheap you are. A real man will NEVER subject you to such degrading task. You too, position yourself. Until you're married, you're still single even if you're engaged to be married. Don't do what is meant for wives! 

And when it comes to doing house chores, are you good at it, a complainer or you're very lazy and you want to marry? Sorry is your case o! If you think marriage is an escape route from doing house chores as a sister or lady, I'm sorry for you. Only a real man can help you out with house chores if he chose to but if you're unfortunate to marry a 'typical' man, let me not mention tribe, na till death do you part o.

Do you even know the role a woman is to play in the life of a man? You're not just a baby making factory. No, you're not a sex object but primarily a HELP MEET. You know what that means? You're to help him achieve God's purpose for his life and if you don't groom your capacity to be able to help, then what do you have to offer? 

I won't shy away from making you to know the reality about your role as a lady. Because you're a 'womb man', don't allow any guy deposit illegitimate seeds into your life and leave you in agony raising a baby as a single mother. Wait for marriage before you entertain sex and don't make yourself a leftover for the right man. It's not impossible to remain sexually pure or a virgin till marriage, don't let any man deceive you. 

And if your husband (fiance) is going to be successful in whatever he does, you have your roles to play and if he's going to be a failure, your part won't be omitted. 

So are you a woman? It's not because you are physically endowed or beautiful that makes you one, it's because you have the potentials to help a man achieve God's purpose for his life that makes you a woman. 

My dear sisters, help our brothers and don't be a liability in marriage. 

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017