In every organization, there's a system of operation where communication and managerial operation flows from the senior member of the organization to the junior members. In marriage likewise, God has designed it in such a way that there's a hierarchical system that connects the head to the neck and other part of the body.
God is the head of Christ and the head of man is Christ while the head of the woman is the man. It is so common today to hear lots of men claim headship over the woman, especially when they're married to her. It's so sad that lots of men who claim to be the head do not know what it is to be the head while some are empty headed.
A man being the head talks about responsibility, are you responsible enough to lead her, become a husband she can look up to or serve as a priest for her? It is the failure on the part of some men that makes their wives to be vulnerable to extramarital affair, false prophets and the likes.
What makes you the head as a man is not the number of packs you have on your chest, it is not about your sexual stamina, it is not even because you have a masculine figure. Do you know the things that makes a man the head?
Permit me analyse them for you.
A head houses the brain and four sensory organs and they have the roles they play. As the head, are you a man with the eyes that can see? I mean, are you a man of vision or a man that meander aimlessly in the path of life?
A real man is driven by vision, not just his self-induced vision but the vision he gets from God. When you have this vision, then you can live a purposeful life rather bask in the euphoria of pleasure that the world throws at you.
It is what a man has in his brain that drives him in life. What have you stuffed in your head as a man? Purpose or pleasure? If you marry without a vision, your marriage will be like every other marriages on earth that makes no impact on earth.
In the head, there are ears attached to it and its function is to hear. Can you discern the voice of God clearly or you hear the opinions of men to run your life? See, it is whose voice you hear that would determine how you will run your life and marriage.
Because some men do not hear God, they treat their wives based on the advise of their friends and their parent's opinion. Lots of marriages that ended up in divorce is as a result of the failure of the man to listen to the right voice. Whatever makes you choose her amidst other women should never make you separate yourself from her when issues come up.
However, how sharp is your sense of smell as a man? Can you perceive danger, threat or discern evil concerning your life, siblings or wife? Many of us wouldn't have fallen into evil or made costly mistakes as men if we can discern evil before they come.
A man that is well connected to God will have all his spiritual senses fully operational. But it's unfortunate that women are more spiritual than men but men are more carnal. Yet, some claim headship or demand to be worshipped. A real man doesn't demand respect, he earns it effortlessly because of how he lives his life.
Furthermore, God blessed us with a mouth that can speak and enclosed in it is the power of the tongue - death and life. What kind of words do you speak as a man to yourself, situations, family or wife?
Are your words creating or destroying? A real man uses his tongue to speak life into his life and family, regardless of the situation. When darkness covered the face of the deep, God says, "Let there be light". When the disciples were experiencing storm, Jesus said, "Peace, be still". If your wife is acting funny, what are you saying? Aren't you the first to refer her to her mother or family? Make amends where necessary.
And before you claim to be the head over your family or marriage, do you have a vision from God with which you run your life or you're treading the dark maze of life aimlessly?
Can you hear God speak clearly or you are driven by what people say to run your life?
When a man functions adequately as the head, then his wife will be able to support him. God didn't create women to lead, it's the lack of men who are available that made God to consider women because in the beginning, it was not so.
I challenge all single men out there to be a head indeed rather than become empty headed men. Be a man indeed! Use your single years to groom your ability to lead. Wake up the priest in you and begin to cultivate the husband in you.
Marriage will test you whether or not you're a husband, priest or leader. Don't wait until you're married before you start, act now! Be the head that can be supported and marry the woman that can support you.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2018
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