To anyone reading
this, count yourself lucky, these are summaries of my experience in
marriage after my first marriage to Janet failed.
Only the
wise would learn from the experiences of others and do not think they
know it all. Marriage is far more than what you people think it is. It's
deeper than how it's been painted in movies or soap operas and your
marriage can't be successful if you depend on worldly wisdom to
administer it.
Let me tell you this first, 60% of your
marital success is achieved when you marry the right person that you're
both sure God intends that you should be together as husband and wife.
If you marry the wrong person, you'll take three times the effort to
making it right if you had married the right person. The other
percentage lies in living right and facing the demands of marriage.
Permit me to itemize these experiences.
1. No one will ever tell you that marriage requires hard work and a fight
Are you surprised to here these? You must work hard to make your
marriage successful and you must fight some forces that may want to
destroy the peace of your marriage. A woman is to work hard to take care
of her husband, the children, the house and attend to her purpose in
life. Do you think this is cheap labor? A man must work hard to love is
wife amidst several rivals, put food on the table, meet his obligation
as a man both to his family and generation. Marriage isn't child's play,
don't go there until you're ready.
Why do you have to fight?
Fight when you smell rivalry or suspicion with your spouse. Only a fool
fights spiritual battles with physical weapons. The devil is the brain
behind all marital disharmony but you will never know. He's the reason
behind unforgiveness, strife, nagging, lust, sexual perversion and so
on. He's that little voice that wants you to divorce or bank on your
ego. You must fight these forces in the place of prayer rather than
complain or opt out. Don't be a stranger in the place of prayer because
much battles are best won in there.
2. The fact that the world practices divorce doesn't mean God supports it, He hates it with perfect hatred
Pay the price to marry right and pay the price to live harmoniously
with your partner. Do you think challenges won't come? Don't just
prepare for a blissful relationship, build strength to manage odd
circumstances when they come.
Embrace forgiveness should offense comes as long as it's not a threat to your life.
3. The only perfect model for a successful marriage as a believer of
Christ is to understand Christ's relationship with the church
Marriage is unique and no two marriages are the same. Mind you, there’s
no general formula that can make your marriage successful other than the
Creator's.
Don't let anyone be your role model in marriage,
let Christ and His love for the church be your model. Humans are not
perfect but Christ's marriage to the church is the perfect model. He
carefully choose the church, loved her, gave Himself for her, sanctified
and cleansed her with the Word. These same thing must the man do to his
wife. And the wife must subject herself to her own husband in
everything as to the Lord. If she's not ready to honor, reconsider the
proposal and you must be ready to love her as Christ loved the church.
Space won't permit me to elucidate further.
4. Marriage is not a partnership arrangement, it is becoming one flesh
There's partnership in business, crime and the likes. Partnership is
where two separate persons come together to form a business and they are
only bonded by a deed which doesn't involve their spirit, soul and
body. But in marriage, you must be one flesh in spirit, soul and body.
If you treat your wife as a partner, you won't love her as yourself. If
you see your husband as your partner, you won't fully honor him in
everything. When marriage is treated as a partnership, secrets will be
kept, insignificant things that would put the marriage in asunder will
be tolerated before it breaks physically.
If you not ready to
become one flesh with him or her, don't ever make the mistake of going
into marriage because when the devil knows that you're not one flesh,
especially as a believer of Christ who ought to know this, he will
orchestrate your marital failure through your ignorance.
Having shared these experiences, they are truths you will never regret to imbibe. Don't just read or like, save and share!
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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