There's a popular saying in this part of the world that love is blind. Honestly, I don't know the philosopher behind this saying or the relationship guru that postulated it as a fact. But unfortunately, it's becoming a national anthem sung by ignorant singles. Many people who knew nothing about love would just swallow this phrase hook, line and sinker. And when they get into marriage, their eyes would be open to lots of things they were blind to.
How can you fall in love at first sight or say love is blind when you no next to nothing about the person - past, dreams, shortcomings, pursuit and you're yet to agree on the major issues of life?
Know this, love cannot be blind to...
1. Character
No matter how much you're intoxicated by love, a bad character will be repulsive and can never be tolerated. Do not think love would make someone with a bad character change. They can only pretend for a while but not forever.
If he raises his voice at you or bangs the table when he's angry, be sure that in marriage, it'll graduate to verbal insult and domestic violence.
When she's keeping things as a secret from you, just know that you'd be in for surprises when you enter into the marriage on the premise that love is blind.
2. Place of worship
Love cannot be blind to the place where you both worship. If your church believes in orthodox practices, it'll be difficult to marry someone who's pentecostal in their own belief.
An unresolved issue of the place of worship would affect your union, whose religious practice the children follow and if care isn't taken, it'll pull the relationship in asunder. This is why you must ensure that you don't just choose someone you like, let God lead you to the one He has prepared for you.
3. Purpose
When God brought Eve to Adam, he wasn't blind to what her role was in his life. Adam was doing something and he knew what she was going to do in his life.
Love cannot be blind to what you are to do in his life or what she is to do in your life. If you don't know God's purpose for your lives, your marriage will be like every other marriages - sex, make babies, live together as husband and wife, become parents and then grandparents. No impact in the society.
Do you know if he knows God's purpose for his life? If he doesn't, you'll have no role to play in his life. And if you as a lady doesn't know where you fit-in in his life, he'll abuse your role in his life.
4. Roles and Obligations
Husbands and wives have their different roles and obligations to play in the making of a successful marriage. Love cannot be blind to this fact.
It's not the duty of the woman to lead the family to pray, make important decisions, take the largest part in the financial administration of the marriage. No, women weren't made to be breadwinner. If by situation it happens, the man needs to man up and own up to his responsibilities.
I heard a testimony of a man who at the time of marriage, his wife to be earns more than him. But since it was God that joined them together, He went back to Him for a miracle and He did.
But boys in men's appearance will sit back and push the whole financial weight of the relationship on the woman. So my dear, if this is the kind of man you perceive you're with, don't let your love be blind.
Ladies, if you're the only one adding to the table without him making signs or efforts to support or show willingness to make progress, you'll be the husband of the family.
More so, it is not the primary role of a man to make meals or build the home; it's a wise woman's obligation. If you discover that she doesn't have what it takes to build the home, look before you leap because love won't do it in marriage.
5. Religion
Can two walk together except they be agreed? Disagreement between your religion is an issue love cannot be blind to or solve, agreement does. If a believer of Christ marries an unbeliever, such relationship cannot stand the test of time and even if it does, it's a violation of divine laws.
Note, love cannot change an unbeliever, the highest he or she can do is to pretend to believe in what you practice and when you end up in marriage, what they believe in will influence their life and relationship.
An unbeliever is a no-go area in marriage. Don't think love will be blind to it. That it worked for others doesn't mean it'll work for you. It's better to do what is right than to do what is wrong that others are doing.
Do you believe love is blind? Don't let the aforementioned points ruin it in marriage.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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