It took me some years before I could gain admission into the University. I was among those whom 'Jamb' (Joint Admissions Matriculation Board) jammed several years before favor smiled at me. I wrote UME (University Matriculation Examination) thrice. If you like call me 'olodo', what I know is that time and chance happens to everyone in life. When your time hasn't come, your chances of making it would be very slim.
When God says it's time for you to be favored, no Jupiter can stop you from moving forward. However, persist in the place of prayer and never give up before your time.
In year one, I was a 'Jambito' (fresher or freshman) who knew nothing about the university environment. Campus life was all about lectures, hostel and fellowship. No social life. It was purely triangular!
I tried to acclimatized with the fellowships around but most of them left me spiritually starved. Being sexually pure in thought wasn't easy because of the way our sisters sell themselves through their dressing. But thank God I scaled through.
After year one and two, I was still busy trying to balance my CGPA, no time to waste time before GPA would enter Lagoon front (Those who went to the University of Lagos would relate well with that term).
From year two upwards, I was no longer a fresher but a certified Staylite. Staylites are those who have adapted well to the university environment. In my hall of residence, Sodeinde in New Hall; after lectures, guys use to window date - spot a fine girl from the window room and try to get closer to her. Sometimes it worked because those girls too are somehow lonely.
>>>Fast forward >>>
My friends were all over me to get a girl in my life. And to prove a point that I am man enough, due to intimidation, I window shopped a lady. I asked her out and not too long she accepted.
The duration of our relationship was so long that it lasted not more than a week. Why I never pushed it far was because 'I can't lie to you that I love you when of a truth I do not mean it' - the fear of God. That was what made me withdraw from the relationship.
Do you know that many had entered into relationships on campus and messed up their academic success on the pursuit of vanities? Most relationship you entered into on campus would leave you wounded, wasted, abused and drained.
More so, any relationship, whatsoever that is built on lies will never stand the test of time, no matter how well you plaster or sandpaper it. If the foundation of any relationship is faulty, building a life on it would be dangerous.
Telling lies starts from saying 'I love you' when you know deep within you that it's lust you want to satisfy. Do you know what it means to love? There's time for everything. A time to go to school is not the same thing as a time to look for a lifelong partner.
Wake up! Love is not in word or tongue. What is campus love when it's killing you softly. What is campus love when it destroys your academic performance and alienates you from God?
I nod my head in pity when I see girls throwing themselves at a guy on campus. If only they have known what is in the deepest heart of a man, they'll face their lives squarely. Some ladies are so gullible that they would be the one demanding for a hug and kiss from a guy. Don't worry, you're doing it out of excitement but when he gets what he wants from you, you'll see the lion in him.
My guy, how many ladies would you tell I love you before you get married when your intentions are purely evil and wicked? Every idle words you speak you shall account for. Ladies, how many guys would you tell I love you out of emotional attraction when your life hasn't taken any shape?
Campus love is a sham. Do you know the calibers of people you'd still meet after graduation, during youth service and when you begin to work? Don't go to school with an intention of looking for whom to marry. If God had destined it to be so, it won't involve your schemes, it'll work out according to His purpose and not your plans.
Many of my friends who had campus relationship never got married to each other. It may work for some but it usually don't work for many. And if you want God's best in marriage, don't lean on to your own understanding.
The overall essence of writing this to you is this: 'Never say I love you to the opposite sex when you don't mean it'. The phrase may not mean anything but in an opposite sex related, Kai, it means a lot. It may appear as a popular phrase many use recklessly, but it's one of the words you'd give account for on the Last Day.
Do the right thing at the right time. Be a man or woman of your word and not of many words. However, the true test of love is not in word or tongue, it is in deed and in truth.
Do not forget, a time to go to school is not a time to be involved in a relationship that would destroy your life - academically, spiritually and career wise. Do not jump the process! If you do, you'll face the consequences.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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