Dear Lady, Who's Making You A Wife?

Until we all go back to the One who created us, we'll always have problems understanding how to relate with one another in peace and harmony. 

Do you know who you are as a lady? You're not just a being with two breasts, a vagina and a bum; you're made to be a help meet to the man God has made for you. 

You're supposed to be a help meet because it is God that is making you. But unfortunately, there are several people who are defining how a wife is to be made from a woman. 

Who's making you a wife? So many wives are made by men, by the world, or they're trying to make themselves the kind of woman they want to be without allowing God to work in them both to will and do of His good pleasure. 

How does men make a wife out of a woman?

1. By making them pregnant before marriage. 

This is a common but sad means of becoming a wife. A lot of ladies became a wife after they have been made pregnant prior to marriage. 

The devil through his wisdom will make it seem as the only option to take when a man walks into your life demanding this while you forget it's a violation against God's law (Heb. 13:4). That you're a pregnant bride doesn't make you a wife, you're just a fornicator whom God will judge.

And it's quite unfortunate that some churches allow the joining of 'three' persons in marriage. Remember, God said a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife (not a pregnant woman) and they two (not three) shall be one flesh. 

Don't allow a man push you into a willful disobedience of God's word. That's rebellion! And that God is merciful to forgive doesn't remove the consequence or your authorization of the devil to do whatever he wants. God is not a respecter of persons.

2. By subjecting them to MT (Matrimonial training) also known as cohabitation so that they can convince him that they are wife material of 1000 yards. 

Many ladies are already moving into a man's house just because he told them, 'I will marry you'. The only thing for them to do is to change their father's name because they have moved half of their properties into his house. Some already own a bed space in his house, they know his kitchen and bathroom, and have defiled the marriage bed. What a tragedy! 

The ignorant ones who were sent to build their career in the university ended up chasing men and they're living couple's life in school. Was that God's initial design for the woman? It was God that made the woman and brought her to the man, read your Bible! It wasn't the other way round. 

3. By sampling their sexual worth through the dating game.

Whether you will accept this saying of mine or not, I'll say the truth: dating is a sham! Do you know how many dates some people have had before they finally settled for the person they married? 

You're a teenager, you're already dating; when you grow to your twenties, you have another one; when you grow older and know better, you'll now be looking for a serious date. What happened to the initial ones? But in the beginning, it was not so...

If a man makes you, he has the capacity to destroy you but when God patiently makes you, no man can destroy you. Don't let men make you a wife through these means, let God do it and bring you to the man He has made for you. When God brings a man that He has formed and a woman that He has made together, coupled with their mutual pursuit of His wisdom to making it work, no man can put them asunder. This is not theoretical, but the fact!

Let's now see how the world makes women a wife.

Who you are to a large extent is influenced by your belief and environmental influence. Gone are the days when wives (women) are said to be submissive to their husbands but today, O boy, everyone is advocating for gender equality.

How can you be a wife when you want your own rights to prevail over his? Even if you know better than him, there’s a way you can communicate it to him in humility. Only a proud man will disdain the wisdom of his wife when presented humbly. 

That you were taken from his side doesn't mean you're equal to him. The world has twisted the scripture to back up this fallacy. God is the head of Christ, the head of man is Christ and the head of a woman is the man. If you do not have the capacity to be submissive to a man, you are likely not going to make a good wife. Not just any man but your husband foremost. 

How do women makes themselves a wife without allowing God? 

By comparing themselves with other women, probably their role model, a celebrity or the kind of image of a wife they have built over the years.

God cannot make you a help meet for the man he's bringing you into his life if you do not submit to Him totally except you're the one making yourself available for the man. The woman did not have her say when God was making her for the man. If God is going to make you to be a wife, His word will first be the basis you conform to before He uses people and situations to complete the wife making process in you.

You don't learn to become a wife in marriage, you should grow to be a wife prior to marriage. Sex doesn't make you a wife, it only consummate a marriage. 

You will always have problems in marriage if you're trying to make yourself a wife without allowing God's input. Do not forget that you're a help meet for him. The man God is making for you is somewhere, yours is just to cooperate and when it's time, He'll bring you into his life.

Is God making you a wife or you're making yourself one or you're allowing that man to churn you into his stringent mould? Ponder on this!

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017