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What Your Pastor Won't Tell You About Online Christian Dating


If only many youths had been told what they need to know about relationship, both online and offline without mincing words at the early stage of their life, they would have escaped the consequences of relationship issues.

It is quite unfortunate that many pastors had failed to enlighten their youths and singles about the dangers of dating, but they learnt their lessons in a bitter way.

Due to the worldliness of the church and the church feasting with the world, the church had consciously or unconsciously supported the term 'Christian Dating'.

Is there anything like Christian dating? That the prefix 'Christian' is added to a worldly thing doesn't mean God approved it. Let's go back to the old-time religion!

Dating means different strokes for different folks. But trust me, the average person believes dating is that relationship where you decide to know whether you'll marry the person or not and it involves premarital sex or its immoralities.

Many, especially young Christian singles date for casual reasons. Some, in their early teenage years, date; after some time when they know better, they venture into another dating relationship and before you know it, they have had more than three dates in their life time. Is this what Christ came to die for?

If you're a Christian youth reading this, please pay serious attention. There's nothing as Christian dating, what the Bible support is friendship. If you must have friends, your relationship must do one thing for you: sharpen your life (Prov. 27:17). Be sincere, how many dating relationship have you ever seen where the parties involved became trail blazers or world changers?

As Christian youths, if you haven't developed an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit, you'll desire a relationship with the opposite sex. But when you have a fellowship with the Holy Spirit, you'll most times ignore other relationship just to maintain perfect communion with Him. Do I have a witness to this?

When it comes to online relationships, this is another world entirely where most Christian youths yoked themselves with tragedies.

Trust me, the online world is full of good and evil people. There are many 'born against Christians', church goers and unbelievers who pretend to be real Christians, but by their fruits, you will know them IF you are sensitive.

You need serious caution when you're meeting people online especially Facebook, Whatsapp or Instagram. Some people are scammers, some are thieves but there are also godly and sincere people too but they are very few.

The online world is a place where you may never know the real nature, temperament or identity of whom you're chatting with because many will fake being cool, calm and collected only to deceive unsuspecting victims. My people, it is a world of uncertainty!

Christian ladies, be very careful with the opposite sex you meet online. Beware of his frequent calls, unexpected gifts and attention, many guys are wolves in sheep's clothing. Even some who appear Christian or have the title of MOG are yet to crucify their flesh.

Should a Christian date online or offline?

When it comes to choosing whom to marry, the world has their own pattern and those in Christ has their own way they ought to go.

Why will you date (assess the suitability of a person for marriage) when you can trust God to guide you to the right person? Oh, they say heaven helps those who help themselves! No sir! It's a lie from the pit of hell.

What the Bible says is: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path" (Proverbs 3:5-7). Do you still have it in your Bible?

God is still in the business of matchmaking his sons and daughters to fulfill His agenda on earth. Don't listen to that lie that He stopped during Adam's time.

Hear this, dating doesn't allow you to depend on God for guidance on whom to marry. It simply makes you tell God that you know what you want and you can find the right person yourself.

And do you know that some people have more than one dates before they settled for marriage? Was it God's plan for them? What happened to their first, second or third dates?

Online dating for Christians has done more harm than good. It has exposed lots of Christian singles to erotic conversations, masturbation, pornography, premarital sex, social media addiction, unwanted pregnancy, untimely death and all the evil you can't imagine.

I know many, at the height of pressure to get married will try to seek solace from social media platforms but please tread the online world with caution.

Can God lead me to marry someone I met online?

Hmmmm! God's way are mysterious and are past finding. God can lead you but you can also lead yourself. God won't lead you to someone you already have feelings for. God won't play pranks on your emotions when you're already wishing to be married to that person. God won't lead you to marry online when you spend the bulk of your time online.

How can you know that He's speaking when you don't have time for Him? How can you know He's talking when you have already communicated your thoughts to the person? How can you know that He's the One talking when you're already wishing, dreaming or fantasizing about him or her?

That brother A met sister B online and they're married doesn't mean God approved it or that He will use that medium to lead you to whom you'd marry. Understand His dealing with your life personally!

God can lead you to someone you'll marry online but He must have guided you offline. God doesn't play games with people's life or do trial and error. If you don't know how He leads you offline, how can you discern when your flesh is leading you online?

Remember, there’s a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof is destruction. The path or process through which you get married determines the outcome of your marital life and destiny.

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017

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