When Pressure Sets In

What comes to mind when I remember the word 'Pressure' is from one of the cooking utensils I know of. Have you used a pressure cooker before? 

It's a special cooking pot that boils food very fast without allowing the internal heat to escape sporadically. Without the external heat, no pressure can be made to cook whatever is placed inside of it. 

There are lots of pressure people face in life: pressure from your workplace either from your colleagues or one wicked boss; pressure to get married, sexual pressure or the pressure that comes in when you're trusting God for the fruit of the womb.

I would like to dwell on the pressure that comes in when you're carefully and prayerfully looking for whom to marry. Those in their late twenties and thirties can relate well with this scenario. Those who do not want to carefully or prayerfully decide on whom to marry are likely not going to face any pressure. But sadly, marriage is too 'dangerous' to venture into without making the right decision with God. 

There are two kinds of joining that leads to marriage: those who join themselves together or those whom God has joined together. 

Trust me, while waiting to choose right, you'd be faced with pressure from your parents, friends, colleagues, associates, siblings and in the worst case, from your enemies - those who mock you because they know a little about your life or even your past. All of these are external pressure.

There's also the pressure that comes from within. These are thoughts or imaginations that leads to fear, worry, anxiety, hopelessness and so on. In most cases, the higher the external pressure, the greater the internal pressure. 

How can I dampen the effect of the external pressure as a single waiting to be married? 

Let me take you through the scripture before I make further explanations. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayers and supplications, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God; and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7).

Honestly, that was the scripture that came to mind when I was writing this article. I was still thinking of brainstorming some practical steps to dampen any pressure that builds up in the lives of people.

Now, how to apply this scripture and make it a reality is the main issue. The application of this scripture can only be useful for those who are trusting in God for a spouse. If you don't want Him to join you together, you can go ahead and lean on to your own understanding to choose whoever catches your fancy but it's so costly to do so.

Point one. Be anxious for nothing. When you're anxious about how, where, when and all of that about who to marry, you're anxious. Worry does nothing good so don't worry that you're single but see it as an avenue to make the right choice and be happy. It's better to be happily single than to be mourning in marriage.

Make yourself happy. Make friends with those who would challenge you to become great in life. Don't make friends with those who would downcast you because you're single. Engage in those godly things that would make you happy. Remember, only you can make you happy. Never let anyone remote control your state of happiness. Never!

Point two. In everything pray. When you're worried pray. When someone looks like who you admire or that God has revealed to you, pray. When someone ask you when you'd be getting married, give them a positive response and go to your place of prayer to remind God about it.

Don't just approach God in prayers on marriage issue, in everything pray. Be worried about nothing but pray about everything. Can I ask you a question? How's your prayer life? Is the busyness of life or your marital delay making it an abandoned place? Keep the fire burning! 

Point three. Supplicate. You must earnestly and humbly ask God about your marital plans and His mind concerning it. It's God's responsibility to give, it's your own duty to earnestly, not sparingly, but ask until He gives you an answer; either by revelation or through His word.

The earliest the better. Develop an intimate relationship with God whereby it doesn't cost forever to have Him speak to you or direct you. Do away with any sin that easily beset you because it's only your sin, faithlessness or prayerlessness that can prevent Him from giving you an answer. 

His reaction. He guards your heart and mind with His peace that surpasses all understanding. There's a peace that the world gives, it's fake and so temporal. That's the kind of peace your boyfriend or girlfriend gives you when he or she promises to marry you but would end up breaking your heart.

God's peace is inexplicable that's why it surpasses all understanding. It's a peace like a fountain of spring water. It's an assurance of safety even in the midst of crisis (pressure, challenges or dilemma). However, you must have done all your part - don't be under pressure, pray, earnestly and humbly ask so that He can act. 

Too much pressure in an air tight container will destroy the container, this is why pressure cooker always have a hole on the cover lid to allow air to escape. 

Don't act under pressure to make marital decisions. Nothing done under pressure ends well. You don't need to hurriedly enter into marriage. There's time for everything. Let God's purpose be established and allow Him to guide you. 

How did you overcome the pressure to get married? Feel free to encourage a soul with your experience. 

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017