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Debunking The Erroneous Belief of 'Marry in the Lord'


Many false teachers are now building several doctrines when it comes to choosing a partner partner and one of such false doctrine is to 'Marry in the Lord', an avenue to independently choose whom to marry without God's guidance. 

It actually sounds good, isn't it? To marry in the Lord could literally means to marry someone of the same faith. The fact that you're a Christian doesn't mean every other Christians are eligible to be married without God's guidance. Does it sound somehow? 

Let me shock you, not everyone in the church is in the Lord. The church is like a hospital where you have doctors, nurses and patients. Doctors are those who administer help to patients. Nurses assist doctors in helping the patients. 

There are more patients than doctors and nurses in the hospital, the same thing happens in the church. 

Who's a patient? Patients are those who needed healing. They're diagnosed with one ailments or the other. Some are in intensive care unit while some are in the emergency room, yet some are recuperating but not healthy to be discharged. 

Bringing it into church setting, sinners are patients that needs the help of God for their healing (salvation). A sinner can be active and vibrant for God and if you're carried away by their physical activities, you'll marry wrong in the church. 

It's easy to identify sick patients in the hospital but not so in the church. Do you agree? Sinners can be in the ushering, choir, children or evangelism department, you can only know them except the Lord shows you great and mighty things which you don’t know. Don't get me wrong, there are genuine believers in these departments. 

"Marry in the Lord", who said it? How do you achieve it? You must be in the Lord to marry in the Lord. Don't read the bible by its letters, let the spirit of God breathe over it to enlighten you. Apostle Paul said this in 1 Corinthians 7:39 in his epistle to the church in Corinth. 

Who is in the Lord? 2 Corinthians 5:17 gives a clear answer: "Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new". A person that's in the Lord has a new nature and he or she is the same in and outside the church. No hypocrisy or pretentious living. 

How can I know those who are in the Lord? Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path. More so, God doesn't see as man sees. He sees into the reins of the heart. He sees the end from the beginning but you, what can you see?

Pray to Him for guidance so you won't miss it maritally. Don't make the mistake of marrying in the Lord as an excuse to lean on to your own understanding when it comes to choosing a life partner. You don't make the right choice maritally by depending on your physical senses or compatibility philosophies. 

Do you think God will make mistakes by pairing two unagreeable people together? No, He doesn't make such mistakes. When God leads you maritally, He's not bringing you an angel or a perfect person, you must learn to live together as one. Due to fear and wrong teachings, false teachers carve out doctrines for themselves and their followers. 

That the brother is a youth president, fellowship pastor, youth coordinator or prayer coordinator doesn't mean he's suitable for you in marriage. That the sister can pray, she's a firebrand, tongue speaking or can bring down God's presence in worship sing equally means nothing to make them eligible for you in marriage. Except the Lord builds the house...Psalm 127:1

And again, spiritual gift is not so relevant in marriage, the fruit of the spirit does - love, peace, joy, temperance, goodness and so on. 

Personality impression will change if God is not holding their hands. Don't get me wrong, you won't marry an unbeliever but let God guide you. Someone said I sound too spiritual to have inferred that people should allow God guide them. Will you make major life's decision by being carnal? 

Your assessment about their suitability for you might be right today but will be wrong ten years later. Do you know what tomorrow holds? It's better you hold the hands of God who knows what tomorrow would bring to guide you. 

I have heard about many who married in the Lord, but ended up in divorce for irreconcilable differences. Some who couldn't divorce, wished they were still single because of the kind of person they were married to. 

Marriage is not for now but a futuristic journey. Don't hold onto the wrong doctrines (truth) because genuine truths won't put your life in bondage, now and in the future. 

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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