Brothers, Help Our Sisters Too!

There's a large number of sisters who are ready to be married than brothers who are also looking for who to marry. It's an indisputable fact. More sisters are waiting to be married but few 'okay' or 'incompetent' brothers are showing up. Why is this so? 

There are more sisters who are godly, wifely and they have good character you can come by but chai, our brothers, are not helping matters. An average Christian brother is far from a husband material. In fact, they don't have or know what it takes to be a man, not to talk of becoming a husband. 

If there are suitable brothers who are fit to marry our beautiful, spiritual and waiting-on-the-Lord sisters, the numbers of ladies going for marriage prayer meetings will be reduced to the barest minimum. 

Is it because women are more than men? I don't think so. As a brother, who want sister to respect and honour you but you're emotionally immature and childish. Don't you know women can't cope with men that are emotionally immature and it kills their affection? Some of you are even petty in your approach about life and you want her to stay with you; rara o, kole work!

Nobody is perfect though but I don't condone laziness amongst other character deficiencies in ladies. We're work in progress but as a man, you should be able to lovingly help her become a better person rather than nag her to death. 

See, no lady will submit to your rudeness, lukewarmness, arrogance, stinginess and talkativeness. Some brothers, ehn, they're very rude and unspiritual. When it's time to pray, they'll be complaining but when it's football time, say, Arsenal and Manchester United, they'll watch the game till midnight. Shey na football go handle spiritual issues in marriage ni? Abeg grow up!

I sometimes used to believe it's women that do not have 'Adam's apple' but today, some brothers are like CNN. Because you know one little secret about her past, it became your national anthem. That's not manly. 

And to some of you who ask women for sex, it's very very wrong. Although, I blame the sisters who believed sex would make you marry them. You can't get a Proverbs 31 ladies in bed except she choose not to wait upon the Lord. 

Stop your boyfriend and girlfriend escapades and behave like a man. Instead of wasting your time sampling Jennifer, Maryam or Yemi, discover the assignment that God has created you to do; otherwise, na F9 parallel you will have and you'd be beaten with many stripes in the world to come. 

And to the spirikoko brothers, stop using your spiritual gifts to intimidate sisters. If you are not wise and smart, she may leave you. Your spiritual gift may attract sisters to you but it takes the fruits of the spirit to make a marriage successful. 

Be romantic. You're not carnal if you're romantic as a spiritual brother. Is it a crime to buy her gift on her birthday or do simple things in a romantic way? Romance isn't the same thing as sex o. Abeg understand the difference now!

And to the carnal brothers, it is shameful when your fiancée is more spiritual than you. How can you be a man spiritually if you don't have an altar of prayer, a consistent word life and your ability to hear God speak clearly? Many issues in marriage requires spiritual maturity. This is why most half-baked sisters are victims of false pastors and prophets. Be spiritual and help ladies around you to grow up spiritually; don't cultivate them for sex. 

Cultivate the attitude of a priest, a father and a leader. No godly and spirit-filled sister would marry a boy or a man who cannot lead. Real women loved not only to be loved but they enjoyed being led. Be a priest that hears from God. 

Be a father. It's not until you have children that you become a father. Develop the habit of taking care of your own siblings, parents and others around you. The 'koko' is that be a responsible man.

Stop listening to secular music, it doesn't add value to your spirit man. How can you be listening to 'shakiti bobo' and instill good moral values or retain your spiritual health? Stop sagging, dress well, shave your beard and wash that boxer short. It's not a crime to look good and maintain a healthy hygiene. 

And to those of you that are in a serious relationship leading to marriage, having a good sense of humor isn't bad. Even in Nigeria's present state, people still smile and make themselves happy. Don't be too 'serious' to a fault about life and it'll look as if you're carrying the whole problem of mankind on your face. Smile. Learn to make funny and sensible remarks from your conversation. Women love it when you make them smile.

I do not intend that you choose carnally because some people would misinterpret this article. If you're trusting in God to marry right, work on yourself to be the right person. It's not only the sisters that should prepare for marriage, brothers too must grow. So brothers out there, be a real man - a priest, a husband and a leader. Our sisters have eyes and they can see!

Copied from Zion Breed's post, 'Sisters are not stupid' and adapted for use with permission. 

© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017.