When it comes to the junction of making marital choices, it's at this stage that lots of youths or marriageable singles miss it in life. Several school of thought has been programmed into their minds on the quick ways of getting the spouse they want instead of choosing the one He wanted for them.
A lot of books on how to choose a marital partner with alluring captions have been sold to them. "Getting the man of your dreams", "How to attract Mr/Miss Right" and so on. And many others resort to the western culture of dating, some depend on vision from men of God and so on.
But in the beginning, it was not so...
What are these uncommon ways?
1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart
"What you don't trust God for, He cannot give you"
Adam could have choose an animal who looked like him to be a partner in the garden but no, he didn't. This is to tell you that marriage isn't man's idea but God's and getting it right isn't in your ability but that you depend on Him.
To trust in God is to depend or rely solely on Him to guide you on whom to marry. But it's quite unfortunate that many do not trust God's ability to provide a partner for them. This is why they usually follow their common sense and end up getting it wrong.
2. Lean not on your own understanding
"God doesn't help those who think they can help themselves"
If God is to guide you on whom to marry, you need not to worry on how He'd provide, yours is to be rest assured in Him. Adam was completely at rest during the process. He didn't interrupt or select the kind of partner he wanted.
If you think you know how to find the right partner through dating, cohabiting, catching them young or depending on one prophet to pick a name for you, you're limiting God's ability to help you. And don't get it twisted, the phrase "Heavens help those who help themselves" is a lie from the pit of hell.
3. In all your ways acknowledge Him
"Those who make God their priority are those who enjoy His guidance"
Before you make or accept any proposal, acknowledge God. Don't be in haste to make a proposal or accept one without God's guidance. That he or she has everything you want doesn't mean that he or she is God's will for you.
Even if you're considering one brother or sister as a potential partner, take the matter to God in prayer. When you acknowledge God in all your ways, He'll lead you as a shepherd direct his sheep.
4. He shall direct your path
God is ready to direct those who acknowledge Him in all their ways. Be humble before Him and don't think you know it all.
God has several means through which He can direct you to whom He had prepared for you. He can do it through the means you least expect, yours is just to be sensitive to His leading.
5. Be acquainted to Him
If you must experience numbers 1-5, you must have had an intimate, personal and consistent relationship with Him long before the need of a partner.
Some who haven't cultivated a relationship with God often get closer to Him at the crucial point of choosing a partner. God is not a fast formula you can quickly apply to get what you want and discard when you're done.
Develop an intimate, personal and consistent relationship with Him. Know how He speaks to you. Commune daily with Him in prayers and let His word be your pattern of life. Know Him personally and intimately. If you're acquainted to Him, you'd have known how He leads you in little matters before the issue of whom to marry comes.
6. Be patient with God and His timing
Your prayers can't coerce or compel God to work, He works when it's the right time for Him to act, this is why He makes all things beautiful in its time.
Knowing this, exercise patience in your walk with God. Don't fret when others around you are getting married even with kids. God is never too late, we're always in a rush and competition. When He's ready to answer you, no power of Hell can say no.
7. Work while waiting
That you're trusting in God for guidance on whom to marry doesn't mean that you should put your life on hold. Work on yourself. Discover your purpose and be fulfilling it.
It is not marriage that would define your happiness and joy in life, it is you and the kind of person you marry. Pursue your dreams. Hone out your skills. Gather enough strength and stamina to cope with the married life.
You don't learn how to become a good spouse in marriage, you acquire the knowledge and understanding before marriage.
These are just the uncommon ways in knowing whom to marry you might not be familiar with. That it appears uncommon doesn't mean it's ineffective. The word of God has been proven to be effective in all situation and in every generation.
Don't think you know it all on how to find the right partner, depend on God. Where you find your partner, how you find your partner, who helped you and the kind of person you are determines the outcome of your married life.
© Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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