Marriage is God's idea. He conceived the thought that it wasn't good for man to be alone and that He would make a help meet for him. On this basis, He went ahead to make the woman for him. But many, at the point of their marital decision felt there's no need of involving God in their quest for whom to marry.
However, making marital choices outside God's will or practicing it outside His instructions is the major cause of marital disharmony, divorce, separation, domestic violence, extramarital affairs, pre.marital affairs and so on.
Marriage was drafted into man's instinct and absolved into several cultures of the world. That God has given man a brain to make choices doesn't mean he should make his choice without God.
What is God's will?
God has a desire for all His creation especially the men He created in His own image and likeness. His thoughts convey His will and they are of good (Jer. 29:11).
As wise or spiritual as you are, you can't know God's will or guess it out completely but you can have guidelines as to what His will is when you study His word.
The easiest way of knowing God's will over any matter is to pray (Ps. 32:8, Jer. 33:3). When you ask Him, you'll receive and when you seek to know, you'll find out what you need to know.
Certain persons might tell you what the will of God is for your life but you need to know yourself so that you can take God at His word when challenges comes.
God's thought for you is not to marry a man or woman that would abuse you; He doesn't intend that your marriage would end in divorce or that your life will be destroyed in a relationship; He has a thought for your life maritally.
That many married without God's guidance and it was successful doesn't mean God was a party to it. As a child of God, endeavor to involve God in your marital decision.
Why should I then marry according to His will?
1. You will never know why it is important to marry according to the will of God until you first discover God's purpose for your life
When you discover His purpose for your life, it is then that you'd discover that how tall, dark, rich and handsome he is or how beautiful, endowed and 'sexy' she is doesn't really matter. What really matters is whether he or she is suitable to help you fulfill God's purpose for your life.
Partner seeking without the discovery of purpose will lead to a catastrophe.
2. It'll help you overcome all odds and establish a firm marital foundation
The foundation of every building determines its strength and how long it'll stand the test of time (durability). Marriages founded on the sand of pleasure, money, material things or outside God's guidance will collapse when the wind descend, rain fell and the floods beat vehemently on it.
There are storms or challenges in every marriages. Some would occur within the first five years, some ten or more while some are occasional. Don't be deceived that it's all going to be rosy when there's love in there. A successful marriage goes beyond having mutual love, foundation really matters.
But that which is built on the Rock of Ages, watered with the Living Water of the word will withstand the windstorm, rain and the flood of life.
3. Doing it according to His will will make Him part of your bond
God is usually not a party to what He doesn't initiate. But out of His mercies He'll come when invited but much harm would have been done. Isn't it better to have Him become part of your marital bond than to involve Him when things are already falling apart?
When you marry according to God's will He'll become part of your bond in which it'll become difficult to tear apart by any external forces. Imagine what would have happened to Jonah had it been he listened to God's instructions before embarking on the journey to Nineveh, the same happens to all marriages without God's consent.
My dear, do not dabble into any relationship that God doesn't approve or led you into. It is costly and dangerous to do so. Marrying according to His will is your best assurance over any challenges that would occur in the future of your relationship.
(c) Oluwamayowa Adeniyi 2017
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